War Within

Waging within us all is some kind of war. For most it is quickly won, a victor easily decided. But for a few, the battle is a lifelong struggle against a seemingly overwhelming foe.  It is in the struggle that one can’t find peace. So the battle continues, growing only more and more fierce. On the outside, these people seem calm, undisturbed, but they are like tranquil lakes. The surface is smooth, but beneath that surface lays a world of turmoil.

 Predators feed on their helpless prey; oxygen is greedily consumed by all in order to survive; currents run eternally, pulling everything unanchored along with it. Everything in this underwater world is in its place, yet a cruel relentlessness always drives it, keeping it from a perfect peace. It is from this so neatly organized chaos that inner eyes look up - searching - always searching, for assurance. Gazing upward, a shaft of sunlight is seen penetrating the surface like a ray of hope. And all is calm -- for a moment.

Quickly the chaos dissipates the light, scattering the hope like a sound on a windy day, and once more the lost waifs are alone in their self-created darkness. Such is the eternal battle between good and evil in perhaps its most potent form. The pain is bitter, yet it is clung to desperately like a drowning man clutches a lifeline.  It will continue raging until one wins and the other is destroyed. The fire feeds on itself, burning fuel only to find it immediately replenished.

 Perhaps the worst part of this war is wondering whether one faces this battle alone.  Is a person truly as isolated as she makes herself feel? The answer may remain forever unknown, so the timid warrior hides. She hides behind a smiling face and a laughing voice. She hides behind physical exertion and mental strain. She hides in the crowd blending, and, like a chameleon rarely exposes her true colors. She thinks no one will know; but secretly hopes that someone will see through the calm surface to the depths below as the war wages on.