Cast Aside

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She cast aside our spoken oaths for someone who could never give her what I’ve given

The lie she’s livin’ astounds me

 and I can’t focus on reality because what confounds me

 is the why?

The lie is the same,

no need for names,

the trustless game--- I’m in it!

But not to win it---- Oh no, I’m here to lose.

She chose the rules

and he played along,

I didn't know I was being played so wrong

or I would’ve opted out.

This whole damn thing’s about:  

what she wants and doesn’t get

 and in the end I’m left with shit--- In one hand……..and the other.

To play the role of jilted lover,

betrayed betrothed or wounded wedded, I’ve been cast,

 without being asked.

Forced into a box where all the corners stab in at me,

painfully,

 acupuncture of the soul. It burns deep.

Especially when I’ve done so well to keep

our vows intact,

our true and binding pact,

 to you was just an act.

Sure, I played my part,

 by giving you my heart,

 to do with as you will, with no investigation

into our ongoing situation.

But that, my love, is what trust is.

 I see you know what lust is,

but do you know what anger bitterness and pain does to a, once open,

heart?

It shreds and tears apart,

 the sinew and the flesh and renders it unfit for love to abide in.

Why then

would I ever try again?

 To cry again?

To die again?

To fall victim to a lie again?

How could you take someone into our sanctuary and give them the

satisfaction of making something magnificent, sooooooo mundane?

Defile our good name,

by plunging into the murk and the mire to retrieve a lump of ash,

while treasure beyond measure tumbles from your grasp.

But now we are in the past

and my heart is on the mend.

I trust now and the power to love is within…..

my grasp but beyond my desire.

That “unquenchable” fire

I once once had to be loved, has been smothered and stomped down into a

smolder,

as I’ve moistened too many shoulders,

With the tale of love misplaced

and trust being replaced

by betrayal  and scorn

and pain is reborn…………….. anew.

I know a few understand what I’ve overstated

and though love is never overrated,

the information given has to change,

Because although the love is sweet enough,

the time and effort given up,

does nothing but intensify the pain.