Please stay...

I wish that I wasn't
the way that I am
I'm so fucking awkward
But please stay around
you wonder why
I don't like to be touched
you don't know what I've been through
It was just too damn much
So much that people think
I'm fucked up in the head
and really - I am
why can't you understand
I'm not really crazy
But I'm emotionally scarred
I wish I could explain it
But sometimes it's too hard
I get so damn nervous
and I'm so freaking shy
But in my house, love didn't exist
so I don't know what's wrong or right
I'm scared to get close
cause I know I'll get hurt
I can't help I'm not perfect
Wish you knew my cause of alert
The lst bad break-up
was yet again my fault
Now I'm doing it again
Keeping my heart locked in a vault
I feel like I'm running in circles
The cycle never ends
I'm hurting myself
By being emotionally dead
I hope it won;t happen that way again
If it does I don't know
If help can come from my friends
I feel like I'm being
such a fucking bad person
but really I'm not
I wish these wheels would stop turning