My inner void (translated to English my original is in Dutch)

I continue crawling in the dust of excistence....

Like a puny maggot, i follow my monotone path....

Ik keep going.... and force all the pain on myself...

Because i don't feel anymore.... I am emptied like a pack of smokes..

Slowly growing after years of agony.... my pain vanished....

And now there is nothing else... than a cold void...

Hidden behind the mask of the jester...

Is a dead and cold heart....

No passion nor emotional ties...

As each relation crumbles to sand...

The burden that manifested itself as a rock on my shoulders... now gone...

Because i simply refuse to carry it.... I don't need this stone to build my future shelter.....

I possess dust and dust i shalt remain...

Never will i crawl out of this hole...

Never will i smell flowers...

One day I will perish alone and forgotten

One day i will carve a smile on my face.. from ear to ear...

Every single night, same hour... 3 am

I think of black taboo

Suicide, cries of despair... mutilation and manhunt...

If a soul could scream, all windows around me would break....

Every day again I am confronted with the void, a starring contest...

It tells me i'm alone...

For each and every single moment of my life....

And even after everything

I keep smiling

Because i feel nothing

Eternally paralysed...

Attached to nothing....

How the black seed sprouts and grows

In a nutrient coil of depression...

And after that

an inner void....