You could have had it all...

I wanted to give you everything...

I wanted to take the fall...

I knew the risk and what you demand

But still i asked for your hand..

We could have cherished memories of us together...

Now we both regret wasting our time...

One feels sorry for what he did to the other...

The other one regrets the times he stands still on the past...

You made a promise

But it choaled hollow like your conscience...

yet you left an empty spot in me... one that can't be filled

Every kiss now nothing but bitter taste..

Sheets that reek of corruption and betrayal..

Pictures that show lies...

Broken glass on the floor...

we could have had everything together....

It left me with a sting..

all because you gave in to a temporary fling....

that DESTROYED everything

They once told me that a heartless person is someone who cared too much about something once in his life.....

They once told me love starts with a smile... ignites with a kiss and ends in tears...

They once told me love blinds the eyes and clouds the mind....

Here's my story.. again.

of a reflection so beautiful it could break water...

a thing that cannot be painted or photographed...

because the hands of men cannot capture the shapes and details of her..

A smile that makes every frown vanish...

Teeth as white as snow...

Eyes like lush forest groves....

And hair like copperwires....

She shocked me and one jolt was enough...

How she guided me to the gates on angel wings...

Angelic glory and the trumpets of thousands..

hid the failure that was lurking underneath the surface..

A flash of thunder struck my skull and my eyes opened..;

No trumpets nor gates of gold

just a lake and cold hands...

out she comes..; soaked in mud and water...

A ghostly apparation of once was..

that beautiful girl i tried to portray...

I embrace her between the sludge and the kelp...

And when i open my eyes again...

there's nothing but a body of water...

the dead trunk of a tree that sticks out like the hand of a drowning victim...

and nothing but....

cold hands... and silence...

i continued to keep smiling in your face...

As you backed away my lips withered and turned upside down...

You expect so much of me.... and i'm having problems to keep up..

All my hope was taken.. 

And now i have nothing to give shape to my confidence in a better 'us"

A potent drug...

And once you take off.. you feel great

once it stops working, you fall down...hard

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!-

Never will i hold my broken face... for you to spit on...

Vanish i will.. like the rotting stain on the wall....

I will obliterate every molecule of myself...

I will decompose to fog...

And leave through your lungs...

You will recognize my leaving as a cough....

and drown in tearswept halls of eyes dotted with drops of blood..

And the fractures of bones will snap like music to my ears...

You are my coffin... 

My hole to crawl in...

you stick to my skin... like wax and clay...

and i can't wash you off...

and still i'd like to smile in your face...

but this feeling won't go...

I hope we can end someday...

i'm tired of smiling... at your disgusted face...

I am the house that gave you shelter... the walls that listened to the whispers of your depraved prattling...

And now i cast you out..... 

into the blizzard outside my heart... my house...

And all you can feel now...

Is the coldness of a closed door....

A heart that opens no more....

Love, my lethal drug...

One shot was all it took to go up...

But when it's over...

the deeper you fall.....

the colder you become....

We talked, we laughed....

We shared drinks you and i.. drinking from the same straw...

We shared meals...

Shared sheets...

We kissed, we hugged...

Naked, entangled in love ritual...

We layed together gazing at the stars..

Your hand in mine..

We were together you and i...

We gave birth to hope for the first time.....

Or so i liked to think in my dreams..

No...

We only texted.. for one day...

And you made me feel so interesting...

Put all your flirts in for the play...

And when you broke my shell and i opened to you...

that's when the silence came in..

Now i have nothing of you

only a trail of smoke and cinders...

Ilka....

where did we go wrong........