Just To Say

I’m writing this poem to say
Don’t use me.
Let me in when it feels right but
Don’t wait too late.
See, my feelings are precious to me and it’s only fair that you respect that.
I know it’s strange, I know it’s new, and trust me I know it’s been a while,
But, to look back years from now don’t you want this memory to form a smile…
Across your lips that I can’t stop thinking about.
Man, I’m writing this poem to say…
My love is too real to be thrown back in my face.
My time is too valuable to be tossed around and misplaced.
Don’t you care about me? Don’t you want to understand…
Why I give you such a hard time and set such high standards for a man?
We’ve all been hurt, love, I’ve heard that all before.
But without struggle there is no progress and
Unless you’re going to knock I won’t open the door.
I’m writing this poem to say
That I think I might be ready.
My mind has had some time off.
Even though it seems like just yesterday when I made that phone call.
Said I wouldn’t let it happen again, said the pain wasn’t worth it…
But even if it feels “just right” I know it’ll never be perfect.
I gave him so much power, so much strength, so much life
And before I knew it he was gone, we were done and even 151 wouldn’t suffice.
I was numb to a lot of things, a lot of thoughts and a lot of vibes.
I glued a pen to my hand, a notebook to my thighs and wrote until I cried.
The open book I had become simply disappeared.
MAN I’M JUST WRITING THIS POEM TO SAY
I deserve something real, something alive, and something concrete.
Not some temporary romance that I know falls beneath
My values, my morals, and everything that is me
And if you’re not okay with that, then I hope you’re okay without me.
Oh you wanna take me places, and make me yearn for you at night…
But a kiss on my lips, & a couple good night texts won’t get you between these thighs.
Give me something more, show me your desire to explore me
In ways that I’ve never considered I’m talkin mentally not physically.
I understand if I may be too much to handle.
But I’m just writing this poem…to say…
I hope we’re on the same page
& I’m writing this poem to say
That I’m willing to be patient for whatever or whomever might come my way
I’m infatuated with the lust for love and joy it tends to bring,
But if you’re not ready & we’re not right I refuse to settle for anything.
So that’s why I wrote this poem.
That is all I really had to say…
I’ve been there, I’ve done that and the love game isn’t always fun to play.
I know it’s strange, I know it’s new, and trust me I know it’s been a while,
But, to look back years from now don’t you want this memory to form a smile?
I had a lot on my mind...
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