"Morning Sickness"

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Imagine….

Me sitting back,
With a magazine in my lap.
Grabbing at
A nice cup of lemonade.
Meanwhile,
I’m gazing at the everglades.
The sun’s shining,
And I’m hiding,
Under a beautiful umbrella,
Enjoying that forever shade.
We forever gaze into each other’s eyes,
While angels smile,
And clap their hands in bliss.
Cuz we finally made it to that
Unconditional,
Slightly conventional,
Starting our own tradition full of that perfect love,
We kiss.
And as you form your lips to say those 3 special words…

I’m awakened and disturbed.
By your morning breathe.
Nonetheless,
You lean in for a kiss.
My head turns with the quickness.
Morning sickness.
Damn, not this shit.

I run to the bathroom because I need to release,
These months of depression.
See, you’ve left me displeased.
And all I have now are these dreams,
That eventually you’ll come around.

And as you walk pass the bathroom,
You hear that sound,
I’m crying out….

I want this to be over,
I’m bending over,
That porcelain bowl.

Imagine…..

Floating on the ocean,
In a yacht.
Me rubbing lotion,
Massaging every spot.
Weather’s hot.
Waves pushing up against the side.
Us being wrapped up
In the warmth of the sun.
While we hold hands and reveal to one another
Why the other is the one.
A kiss to the forehead,
Another to the cheek,
One to the left hand that belongs to me
You’re down on one knee,
Staring deep into my eyes,
And as I look down to you,
I can see the nervousness in your smile.
All the while,
You open a petite box, and reveal a ring.
Then you propose to me.
And before I can say yes…..

You roll over on my breast.
You’re putting pressure on my chest.
Nonetheless,
You express
You’re never ending love.
But see words aren’t enough.
They only matter when your actions speak louder.
And seeing as though you’re barely around to act,
I sit back,
With stomach pains,
Hoping to gain something in exchange
For my heart.

But where do I begin?
I thought a smaller version of you,
Would surely do.
So I stick around.
Put my head down and right away I feel nauseous.

Not this, again.
I’m running, again to bend…

No, no, no screw that.
Let’s be realistic…

Fuck options,
I’m tired of being optimistic.
Hoping for the best,
And thinking that,
“things aren’t really that bad.”
Dreaming of white Christmases
And wishing on stars
Meanwhile I’m sleeping with a broken heart.

All those perfection filled visions
I envisioned with closed eyes,
Only lead me to reality
That this isn’t my life.
Every morning I wake up
And instead of Folgers in my cup.
It’s you in my bed
But this aint no holiday.

It makes me sick.
Every morning.
Hints morning sickness
Every day I wake up
Sick of you.
But I remain.
Only because I despise broken homes.
I refuse to raise in a broken home.

So for the sake of this New “Addition”
Get off your ASS
And pull out your umbrella.
It’s time to stand the rain.

Period.
Just like the ones
I won’t have for the next 9 months,
Because I was too busy pushing my luck.
Just like a rock in a hard place,
I ended up stuck.
“Thank you very much.”

In the meantime,
It’s dream time.
So I’ll sit back
On my private plane
Awaiting my flight to the Bahamas.
Sippin’ this daiquiri.

Oh and make mine virgin....I gotta dream sometime.