Paint Your Memories Black

Five days drinking and no time thinking, What is she doing? Who else is she using? It`s nice to have some time away from my mind, but I can´t stand the hangover when I decide to stay sober. Don`t get me wrong I´m mentally strong, I know when to quit before my life turns to shit. But it`s hard to go on when no one cares that you`re gone. Every night I come home I end up alone. I just sit by myself with nobody else. I only want a kiss on the cheek or hear her simply speak. I´ve only expressed it in letters, but I miss sleeping together. I dreamt that our mistakes had been swept and my lungs stopped desperately reaching for breath. Like when I first started blazing, it felt so god damn amazing. My heart started to beat at an unbelievable speed because I`ve never known what it`s like to have more than I need. But then I wake up to the world, and I`m still missing my girl.Even though I know that we´re through, I wonder if she thinks of me too. I wish I had told her what she meant to me and that I truely loved the time she spent with me. But by the time I felt her leaving, I couldn´t possibly admit to my feelings. I had no idea what she wanted to hear so I just chose to disappear. I hoped your essence would fade cuz my choice was already made. These days I sit back and relax, just to find the lies behind facts. I start to hate what you did, knowing the secrets you hid. Even though I had a couple myself, I know I deserved someone else. I´m forgetting your beautiful face and looking for someone to fill up your space. I´m still a little withdrawn, but it´s time to move on. I´ll paint your memories black and fuckin never look back. The day that you don´t cross my mind I´ll lift my chin and straighten my spine. The black clouds will come to an end and I´ll learn to smile again. I´ll just stare up at the heavenly skies... and quietly thank the sun for blessing my eyes.