Which One?

Submitted by Kristina Hutto on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 12:46am |

I once again cough, my stomach is now constricting me...

Pain shoot out, but the pain is slowly leaving once more.

I don't know what is worse... the words he uses, or his actions.

The repeated spats of horrid words to describe me...that is kept repeating in my head non-stop...

Or is it the repeated numbers of punches, kicks, and slaps I get...that leave bruises for weeks?

Walking on glass, barley breathing, gliding chances of either of his personalities.

The one that makes you feel like one of the rays of the sun; where laughter is evident.

Or is today going to be his abusive days...the days that make me cry when I sleep?

And hurt myself to be prettier?

It's either one, and no matter what I say or do, it's my fault. All the time. I deserve this.

I deserve being treated like this. Because I'm just a thing. A play thing. No one cares.

I walk to the door, my palms sweaty, my breath shallow. My stomach, in more injecting pain.

I see the door open to him, he has no smile, no light in his eyes.

I gues I know which one of his personalities are coming out today...

Behind The Poem:

Sorry for grammar, it is 11:44 with me having a whole week of -i'm serious- no sleep and then two other weeks before that with little sleep. This is real, but once again, i guess there doesn't need a summary.

Any Feedback Welcomed

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Comments

Susan Lee
07 23 2012.

One needs to respect oneself

One needs to respect oneself and walk away from such mistreatment. Self love is first. good write

Each-choice
07 23 2012.

It does make you wonder if

It does make you wonder if theyre bipolar to be loving and abusive. But is it worth it to stay for those good days? obviously not. But being in the situation is totally different than perfect reasoning from the outside. It was great poem. I think all your poems are connecting. And theyre all well written. For an 11am writing with no sleep you did pretty great.

Kristina Hutto
07 23 2012.

Thank you so much! That just

Thank you so much! That just made my day. I know its obvious that I need to leave that life style but it's more complicated, (I know, everyone says that), but our parents are great close friends and no matter what, I'd still see him. But thank you so much for the compliment!