A new law is being passed in Tennessee.
A law that's so great that I'm filled with glee.
Because of this new law, many people won't die.
This law will only be for people who get arrested for DUI.

Christmas is supposed to be a day of great joy.
But in less than one hour we'll all be destroyed.
Nuclear missiles are being launched and all of our lives will end.

I built a living creature with every body part that I could find.
I had no idea that I was giving him a psychopathic mind.
He has a flat head, green skin and bolts in his neck.

Why do many people put off buying gifts until Christmas Eve?
That's not a great thing to do, in fact it's very hard to believe.
Why do these people wait until December 24?

God and Superman have one thing in common, neither of them lie.
But unlike Superman, God is real and he's a great Supernatural guy.

I thought you were trying to do your best.
You were supposed to study for your history test.
You got an F instead of an A.
Your education can't continue to go this way.

God gave me the gift to write and I thank him for that.
The Lord also blessed me with my two favorite cats.
Without God, my writing would be horrible and that's true.

Don't commit suicide, you can't afford the cost.
If you commit suicide, your soul will be lost.
Your death will bring others nothing but pain and sorrow.

I'm going to say something that may seem odd.
One day I felt like I was sitting beside God.
I felt a very strong presence sitting by my side.
I love God and that's something that can't be denied.