If this one kills me

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God there is just one thing that i ask,
if this drug kills me, tell mom
it was a heart attack.

every time i breathe
my chest locks up
a chill in my back
i guess im fucked

i felt something
cold on my shoulder
i looked over and
it was the ground

i dont really care if i die
ive had a pretty decent life
but momma doesnt need to know
her baby was a junkie

see i am my mothers only son
her daughter is the golden one
and she had us both
a year before she could even vote

so we grew up together
in this fucked up little town
i got hooked on everything
but not with her around

she would blame herself
and everyone would agree
even though they fucking know
shes everything to me

rumors spread like water
in this fucked up little town
she would have to hear it
even when im in the ground

and i would bet my money
that my dad would go to jail
one cross word about his son
hed send them all to hell

which leaves my mother all alone
son is dead and daughters grown
she'd only see her husband
every first and second sunday

and dad would never be the same
orange suit and silver chains
he'd probably even change his name
just so happens that im a junior

my dad is only thirty-nine
id hate for him to lose his mind
but theres no turning back
i know i did this to myself

but my true fears are for my mom
she will pay for all my wrongs
with sleepless nights and lonely days
all that i can do is pray

God there is just one thing that i ask,
if this drug kills me, tell mom
it was a heart attack.