The Toilet Seat (Prose)

The Toilet Seat (Prose)
Prose by...
Johnson
1665...1 CD...
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This is meant ta be ay humorous look at the difference between
men and women--No offense, only smiles, are intended--
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Men can't win:
If we leave the seat down and pee on it, accidentally,
We catch a world of grief!!!!
If we put up the seat, then forget and leave it up,
We catch ay world of grief!!!
We men cannot do anything right!!!
The women say that if we leave up the seat
That they fall into the toilet.

So how do you figure that...
WE MEN DO THE WRONG THING???
At least we LOOK before we sit...
To insure that the seat is in the correct position!!!!
That snot ay difficult thing ta do!!!!

We don't leave the seat up on purpose!!!
Do you think we like ta listen to you bitch at us???
We lift the seat out of courtesy, because
we might pee on it if we don't...period!!!
We always forget to put the seat back down!!!
It's a male thing...that's what we do!!!!

We do not yell at YOU fer leaving the seat down!!
We look at the seat, then adjust it properly
Because that is what ADULTS who use the toilet do!!!
You should NOT go into the bathroom
And NOT notice the position of the toilet seat
And then sit...without looking
Until eventually you MUST fall into the toilet!!!
You MUST!!!...the odds say you must!!!!
That's like jumping into ay pool that has no water in it!!!
One does NOT just jump into any pool!!!
One first looks at the pool to insure that it will be safe.

Even we men must sometimes sit on the toilet...
No!!!...it is TRUE!!!
Do we just sit?
NOOOOOO!!!!
We check ta see if the seat is UP or DOWN...
Then we adjust it properly;
That's the way adults, or ANYBODY, uses the toilet!!!
That is the PROPER WAY TA USE A TOILET!!!!
DUHHHH!!!

Women EXPECT everything ta be perfect ALL THE TIME!!!
It snot!!!!
That snot the way life works;
Life will throw all of us curves...both men and women.
Men look before we sit...
That's a MAN THING;
Women don't...
That's a stupid thing!!!
But men can't win!!!
And that's the end of this story!!!
I hope it made you smile.
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In GOD I trust--
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